09.27.07
Posted in General, Work
at 12:12 am
Ah yes…school has started. I can’t walk down the Ave without putting myself in danger of having a stroke—people weaving about, stopping abruptly, and just generally getting in my way. But that’s not what this post is about.
I went to my office to print something. I submitted the job from my office and walked down the hall to pick up the print-out. Except the printer wasn’t working for some reason…and I couldn’t see the error because someone (probably some !@#$ freshman) had changed the printer display language to….Russian. I decided I had three options:
1. Write out the information by hand.
2. Try to remember how to reset the printer.
3. Find a professor that speaks Russian.
Three would have been a viable option since we’ve got at least a couple professors that speak Russian. Since the information I needed was only ten lines I just wrote it out by hand. On the other hand I can envision an amusing conversation taking place to request translation services:
“Hi Professor, I’m Matt MacAdam from Physics/Astronomy Computing Services. I need you to come downstairs and tell me what’s wrong with our printer.”
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09.21.07
Posted in General
at 1:05 am
Looking through backups can be a dangerous (though sometimes enlightening) experience. I found the following text file today…apparently at some point I took it upon myself to define some words and phrases that I commonly use, in the way that I actually mean them, not what other people interpret them as. This is at least a couple years old, though most of the definitions remain more or less accurate. I’ve polished and edited it slightly to make it suitable for posting. I’d forgotten writing it so I found it slightly amusing. Also I seem to have been unable to decide if I wanted to write in the first or third person. Enjoy.
—–
deal: Verb. able to cope with. Often interpreted as meaning barely tolerable by mere mortals–to a Matt, this generally means he is perfectly happy with the situation.
Disgusting: Often “very gross”, i.e. “that is so disgusting even I didn’t think of it”. Also used as an adverb in a most superlative sense, i.e. “he is disgustingly [i.e. very very very] good at Ultimate Frisbee”
Hate: Used very loosely. Unmodified, it is used to indicate general dislike for a person, place, object, or way of thinking. Greater degrees of dislike are indicated by the modifiers of the word.
phrases:
“wow, your life sucks!”: I feel bad for you. I wish I could do something to help.
“I don’t like you anymore”: I will pretend to be offended by your remark for the next 2 seconds.
“Go away”: Go away for two seconds, then please come back, or else I’ll be lonely.
“Go away!” (grouchy voice): Leave me alone or I’ll bite your head off, or start crying. Or both.
Leave me alone! (grouchy voice): See “Go away! (grouchy voice)”
“I’m hungry” : I’m hungry. Feed me or I’ll keep whining about how hungry I am.
“I’m not hungry”: I’m not hungry enough to eat that particular food yet
“that’s stupid”: “I don’t understand that.” Sometimes stupid may be modified by other words–in such a form, it generally indicates distaste for something. The degree of the modifiers generally indicates the degree of distaste.
guttural noises:
“meh”: often “whatever”. Sometimes used to both acknowledge that the speaker has been heard, and to indicate that the Matt’s response to their comments is “whatever”. Also used by a Matt when he doesn’t have anything intelligent to say. Obviously, “meh” is a frequently heard noise.
“mrreeeh”: Sound of annoyance. In some cases may may mean “remove yourself from my presence.
“MMMMM!!! GGGRRRRHHHH!!!”: I just really hurt myself, but the presence of other people precludes me saying the words I usually say in this situation.
“hmph!”: Sound of annoyance or disgust. Sometimes used to indicate surprise.
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09.12.07
Posted in Quotes
at 12:30 pm
From an old guy at the Twin Falls County Fair (in Idaho):
“Well it turns out our senator’s a queer, but I knew he was a queer back when we elected him in 1980!”
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