How can you get bored when you have firearms? —Dan Dameron

That’s a bag Matt, it’s not your cape. —Brian McNally, co-worker

Because you’re a f***ing moron, that’s why!!! —Miles Crawford, former co-worker and all-around nice guy

I just don’t want to crush my hair… —James Malone, co-worker


And then you will see that…I’m not lying. —My physics 228 professor, assuring us that the next part of this long proof (well, it wasn’t a proof per se) would cause what we had just done to make sense.

General Lucifer leads the army of fallen angels…General Christ leads God’s army. —My English professor, on Paradise Lost.